T-minus 2 days … or not!

Saturday, September 29, 2012

Hi Family!

I can't believe it's already time for me to leave the MTC. It still feels like I just got here; probably because I did. The big news for this week is that I've been reassigned. Spain missionaries have been having tons of trouble getting visas for the last couple months so every single missionary going to Spain has been reassigned. We got our reassignments last Friday night! And I'm going to the... UTAH PROVO MISSION! Waiting to find out our reassignments was like waiting for a mission call all over again. They're keeping me close so that when my visa does come I can go meet with the Consolate up in Salt Lake City. I'm actually suuuuper excited about serving in Provo for a few months. It's like a second mission! And the Provo mission is pretty big. Apparently it goes from Heber, all the way down to Cedar City. So I leave Monday at 2:30 in the afternoon and will hit the ground running.

This week was pretty good. Last P-day after we did our email and laundry we hit the pinata that Elder Ponce got in his package. Saturday we taught in the TRC. Not sure what that stands for, but we've been teaching in there a couple times a week. We teach an actual progressing investigator who volunteers to be taught by missionaries at the MTC. It's been a pretty cool experience for the most part. Our progressing investigator's name is Hely and she's from Guatemala. Our lesson last week was super cool. The Spirit was so strong. She was telling us how she sometimes doesn't feel like God loves her. It hurt me to hear that. We bore testimony to her that He does. So so much. I think she believed us because afterwards she kept crying and crying and told us how grateful for us she was. Our last meeting with her was a couple days ago and we just shared our favorite scriptures and she showed us some pictures of her family and life in Guatemala. I'm gonna miss her! But we got a picture with her! .

Our teachers (especially Hermana Koth and Hermano Adams) have been focused on not concentrating on the curriculum if that's not what the Spirit tells them we need. The last week we've had more powerful and helpful lessons because of it and I love it so much. Hermano Adams felt impressed to read us a talk called "The Fourth Missionary." It was incredible. I would hiiiiiighly recommend it to anyone who is or who is preparing to serve a mission. I learned so much and I'm going to try my best to be the fourth missionary. Go read it!

Oh! Best part of the week was definitely Sunday. It's my absolute favorite day here. We got to go to the Brigham City Temple Dedication. It was awesome. I've never been to a temple dedication before and it was a cool experience. It was especially neat because President Packer grew up in Brigham City and had been praying to live long enough to see it dedicated. After Sacrament Meeting we went on our "temple walk" with our branch. I love temple walks! Sunday night for the film viewing we chose the Joseph Smith movie. So good. I've seen it at least 5 times and it gets better every time. I can't deny the testimony I have of Joseph Smith. I know he was a true prophet and that it was through him that the gospel of Jesus Christ is on the earth today. I know it times a thousand. I love that man. I really love this certain line from the movie. Emma says, "Do you ever think God asks too much of us?" and Joseph says, "I don't let myself." I want to strive to have that mentality.

Monday started off so terribly, but had the best ending. We had class with Hermana Koth. Everything was going well until she brings in this guy Brother Wood and tells us to pretend he's our investigator and all 7 of us are teaching him. It was so unfair - we had zero time to plan or even attempt to gather our thoughts. Hermana Wilcox, Hermana Barrera and Elder Alvarado were the only three who spoke and the lesson went horribly. Then we went to the TRC and the coordinator guy told us that he can't feel the Spirit when he's around us and that he can't afford to have missionaries like that in the TRC. That just about killed us. We already feel inadequate and incapable, but then to hear that, and from a man who's been around us for a total of 5 minutes really sucked. The rest of the day was okay. Then, class with Hermano Adams. The best part of any day. We walk in and start class. He's like, "We're just gonna have an open honest talk. I've thrown out the lesson plans for today because I had the impression that you could just use a talk." We hadn't even told him about out day! He is so in tune with the Spirit. We told him everything that had happened and he closed the doors on all our concerns. He told us again that he loves us and that being with us is his favorite part of the day. I believe him. My favorite thing he said was, "Your mission won't be the best 2 years (18 months) of your life, but if you let it, it will be the best 2 years (18 months) for your life." I'm happy.

The quote I've been trying to remember on a daily basis is by President Monson. He said, "Whom the Lord calls, he qualifies." I've never felt so incapable in my whole life. I'm not a perfect teacher, companion, Spanish speaker, or missionary right now, and that's hard for me. I thought for sure that the hardest thing about a mission would be missing my family and friends, not working, not going to school, and giving up technology and entertainment for 18 months. But honestly, that hasn't been too big of a challenge at all. I don't really even have time to think about any of that. The hardest part is not feeling like I'll be able to give all of myself and teach this message that's so important to me. But I am qualified. And I'm learning that just being me, and loving the people with all my heart IS enough. If I give 100% every single day, the Lord will take care of the rest.

Our last class with Hermano Adams was Thursday. It was SO SAD. I has taught me so much these last three weeks and I'm going to miss him terribly. I wish there was a little mini version of him I could have in Provo/Spain with me, but at least I can write him and get some encouragement when I'm struggling! Hopefully I see him when I'm walking around Provo for the next few days/weeks/months.

Yesterday we had in-field orientation. The 500 of us who are leaving this week all had 12 hours of workshops and vision meetings preparing us for the next 12 weeks with our trainers. We watched a video about the three Sweet Water Creek boys who at just 18 years old carried pioneers across the freezing creek and later died from the effects of the freezing water. We talked about how it wasn't a split second decision they made, but a lifetime that built up to it. I love that story. We also talked a lot about the difference between faith as a principle of action, and faith as a principle of power. Faith can bring miracles. In fact, it does. We're taught here to not only hope for miracles, but to expect them. Think about that...

Well, I can't believe it's finally time to go! Next week I'll be writing from my new mission. I don't feel ready at all. My Spanish isn't where I want it, more often than not I can't teach a good lesson, and I'm nervous about leaving the safe bubble of the MTC. I love it here. I love it so much. I could do another 6 weeks here no problem. But it's time for me to go, and everything will be okay. I don't completely believe that. But I figure as long as I tell myself that, I'll eventually believe it.

I love and miss you alllllll. I appreciate the letters, packages, and emails. They've been such a mood booster on the bad days. I'll send my new address as soon as I know it, but for now, emails are the best. Enjoy General Conference! I'm so grateful for a living prophet of God and can't wait to be uplifted this weekend! You're the best. Miss me.

Love,
Hermana Munden

“I’m Still Alive!”

 

 

Well, I've officially been here for a over a week. Everyone was right, after Sunday everything really does get so much easier. Those few days before sunday were definitely the hardest though. Sunday morning we had Relief Society and before our lesson we got to hear the conversion story of one of the sister missionaries. My favorite thing she said towards the end was, "I finally feel close to the God I always knew was there" and I just got chills. We're learning every single day how important it is that each person knows and understands that we are all literal children of our Heavenly Father. He loves us so much and wants us to seek out a personal relationship with him. Guess who our teacher was for the rest of the lesson... SHERI DEW. That woman is incredible. She talked about the importance of recognizing our divine nature as well as the vital role of women in the Church. She's so great. And she's from Kansas! Even cooler. Earlier our Zone Leaders had offered to give me a blessing of comfort if I wanted one because they could tell I was having a hard time. I took them up on their offer and I can tell a difference already. It's so nice having so many men here who are willing to honor their priesthood and serve us.

Sunday night we had a devotional on the Book of Mormon. The spirit in the meeting was amazing. In reality, whether or not the Church is true depends on whether or not the Book of Mormon is true. It's the evidence that Joseph Smith was a prophet, that Christ came to the Americas and that God loves us. If it's true, so is everything else. If not, none of it matters. I receive every single day a clear and strong confirmation that the Book of Mormon is the most correct book on the Earth

In one of our classes earlier this week Hermano Adams (our favorite teacher) told us that we are not authorized to lower or raise the Lord's expectations of us. He doesn't expect me to be a perfect missionary or to speak Spanish perfectly right now, so all I can do is try my hardest, study, pray, and rely on the Spirit to teach me the rest. That was so reassuring. After class I pulled him aside and talked to him about my concerns and struggles with Spanish. He promised me that everything will be okay. As I was already emotional, I saw his eyes get teary and I know he cares about me and my success as a missionary. He encouraged me to read Ether 12:27 and I spent the next hour or two studying that one verse. I'm grateful for Brother Adams and his dedication to his job. He tells us that he prays for every member of our district (there's 7 us) individually by name every single night. I love having a teacher here who can also be our friend and who gives us support and is sensitive to our needs.

The other day we had a really great discussion about repentance and the grace of God and how we get so many second chances. The gospel is one of change. It's all about transformation. The scriptures tell us that no unclean person can enter heaven. But in reality, no unchanged person would want to. There isn't anything we're capable of doing that would make God not want us anymore. In essence, the point of no return is when we decide returning to Him isn't worth it anymore. In a talk Hermana Wilcox's dad gave at BYU he said, "Grace is not a finishing touch, it's a finisher's touch." We live worthy, righteous lives, not to pay any sort of debt (Christ already did that for us), but so we will be prepared to live in Heaven and be comfortable there. I have never thought about the Atonement and grace like that, but it makes so much sense.

I've been pretty sick for the last week. It makes it super hard to concentrate sometimes and between the three of us, we've been to the clinic 5 times. Apparently I have a couple bad viruses in my respiratory and nervous systems.I've been taking a lot of different medicine and praying for health and I'm finally starting to feel better. I guess they won't let us leave here if we're not healthy so I'm trying to get back to normal.

Time is flying here! Even though sometimes the days seem to last forever since we go from 6:30am to 10:30pm, but now that I've been here for over a week I can't believe it. And I didn't realize this, but since I'm in the advanced class, if I do go to Spain on the 2nd, I won't go to the Spain MTC, but straight to the field. Scary! Church is different here. We have Music & the Spoken Word, Relief Society, lunch, Sacrament Meeting, personal study, Sunday Devotional, time to watch other talks and devotionals, devotional review with our district, and then we go to bed. We have 45ish minutes for gym time every day and we can kind of do what ever we want. We've only gone to the field once, but we just played ladder golf. My schedule changes almost every day. But most days I have two 3 hour classes, lots of personal/companion study, zone teaching (where we're supposed to go help the beginner and intermediate classes, but I just do language stuff) and then meals stuff. The food is good somedays, but most of the time it gives me an upset stomach so lately I've been eating toast or salad.

I miss you all. I'm doing okay and every day gets so much better :)

Love,

Hermana Munden

Saturday, September 15, 2012

I don't even know where to start. I can't believe this is my fourth day here. Wednesday is pretty much all a blur at this point. After we met our companions and district, we went to the MTC Presidency welcome meeting. We opened the meeting with "We'll Bring the World His Truth" and instead of singing, "We will be the Lord's missionaries..." we sang, "We are now the Lord's missionaries..." and I just broke down. The Spirit here is so strong and everything makes me cry.

I'm in a trio, so instead of having just one companion, I have two. It's the strangest thing ever. Who knew you could feel like a third wheel in your companionship? Hermana Wilcox is from Provo. She's so excited about being here though, and sooo friendly. Her dad is the mission president in the Santiago Chile Mission; that's where she learned most of her Spanish. Hermana Barrera is from Houston, but her parents are from Mexico, so she grew up most of her life speaking Spanish. They're both going to Spain too, but we're all in different missions. I'm not used to having to be with somebody literally 24/7 and it's definitely taking some patience, biting my tongue, and lots of prayer. Our district is awesome. It's us, plus four other Elders. They all learned Spanish the same time they learned English, so I definitely feel like the least experienced in our whole district. Yesterday I just broke down and spent most of the day crying because the language is so frustrating for me. That wasn't a challenge I was expecting because I felt so confident in my Spanish speaking abilities, until I came here. Half the time during class I don't know what's going on and I hardly participate because I don't know what to say. I have all these thoughts and feelings in my head, but don't know how to get them out in Spanish and it's so hard! I had a one-on-one with my coordinating sister, Hermana Seely, yesterday and told her about my struggles with the language. She assured me that my call was not a mistake. She told me that the Lord didn't call me to fail. He called me to speak Spanish, not English and I need to stop being so hard on myself. It's hard though, when I feel like everyone is so far ahead of me. But I'm learning that the only thing I have control over is my attitude and the sooner I stop being negative about my weaknesses, the sooner I'll be able to get to work and make the most out of my time here. Literally EVERYONE has been telling us that if we can just make it to Sunday we'll be fine. We've heard soo many times that the first week is the absolute hardest. I can understand those who pack up and want to leave because it is seriously one of the hardest thing I've ever done. I can't wait til tomorrow though. I need to be built up and reassured that I can do this.

Our teachers are mostly great. Brother Adams was a former athiest and super stubborn. He told us his conversion story and it was INCREDIBLE. Of course, I cried the whole time. It's a long story, but after less than two months of being taught by the missionaries he was baptized and then a year and two weeks later he reported to the MTC to serve a full-time mission and now he's a teacher at the MTC. The rest of his family is still atheist and they don't want to have anything to do with that part of life. His testimony is so strong though and I feel like if somebody like he used to be could come to know the truthfulness of this gospel, anybody can. I love Brother Adams. We can tell he really wants to be here for us and he loves this church with all he is.

My departure date is October 2^nd, but I heard they're having lots of trouble with the Spain visas though, so if I don't get to leave on the 2nd, I'll most likely be reassigned somewhere in the States til my visa comes. And I have my release date! It's February 19, 2014.

I love it here, even when I don't. It's hard, but I know it'll get better. I love this gospel so much and I'm so grateful for all the opportunities I'm having and will have to share it with others. 

see you in eighteen moons

Tonight I officially get set apart and become a missionary. I can't believe it's finally here! I'm looking forward to spending nearly every day of the next year and a half to teaching people about the gospel of Jesus Christ and His love for each of them. 

After I volunteered in Ecuador last year, I thought I was satisfied with that being my "mission." I got to spend 12 weeks with the most perfect little children and take care of every need they had. I bathed, clothed, fed, helped, played with, and loved them every single day. Some days it made me sad that I could take care of all their temporal needs, but I wouldn't be around to watch them learn about Christ and how much He truly cared for my little babies. Now, as a missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, that will be my entire purpose for 18 months. 

I'm so excited about this work I'm headed to do. I appreciate all the love, support, and encouragement I've felt from my family and friends in the weeks/months/years leading up to this big time in my life. I'm going to miss you all! 

Yo sé que Cristo vive y nos ama a todos. 

Until we meet again ♥

[1.5/18/540 ]

"Arise and gird up your loins, take up your cross, follow me, and feed my sheep.

farewell

I finally feel ready. I have my passport. I've applied for my visa. I've gotten my shots. I've been cleared by my dentist, physician, and lasik surgeon. I've been through the temple. I have all my outfits and shoes. And I feel prepared. I'm finally ready to be a missionary! Per tradition, I gave my farewell talk last Sunday. I always thought that when I left for my mission I'd be surrounded with my friends and family who were by my side through it all. Seeing as I'm not in Rexburg, Utah, or Kansas, that wasn't the case. I've still felt immense love and support from my family and church leaders during my time at home and I'm so grateful for it. 

For those who are interested, here's the talk I gave. I was the last speaker, so it's kind of long. I'll be impressed by those of you who read all the way through it. Only a few more days and these posts will be letters!

My heart is full. I pray that the Spirit will be with you and me as I attempt to effectively share with you the message I’ve prepared. I’m going to be using Elder Donald L. Hallstrom of the Presidency of the Seventy’s talk from this past General Conference to share with you the importance of both the gospel and the Church. His talk is entitled “Converted to His Gospel through His Church.” He starts out by saying, “Sometimes we use the terms gospel and Church interchangeably, but they are not the same. They are, however, exquisitely interconnected, and we need both. The gospel is the glorious plan of God in which we, as His children, are given the opportunity to receive all that the Father has. This is called eternal life and is described as ‘the greatest of all the gifts of God.’ A vital part of the plan is our earthly experience – a time to develop faith, to repent, and to reconcile ourselves with God. The Church [is the organization] established by Jesus Christ during His earthly ministry, ‘built upon the foundation of the apostles and prophets.’ Jesus Christ is the head of His Church, represented on earth by prophets holding apostolic authority.”

It’s the Church that brings people to a full conversion to the gospel. It’s the habits we teach and the culture we embrace as part of the Church that allows us to experience that “mighty change of heart” talked about all throughout the Book of Mormon. Alma reminds the people of what a true conversion feels like in Alma 5. There’s a series of questions he asks them and they’re questions I like to ask myself. “Have ye spiritually been born of God? Have ye received his image in your countenances? Have ye experienced this mighty change in your hearts? Do ye exercise faith in the redemption of him who created you? Can you imagine to yourselves that ye hear the voice of the Lord, saying unto you, in that day: Come unto me ye blessed, for behold, your works have been the works of righteousness upon the face of the earth? And lastly, if ye have experienced a change of heart, and if ye have felt to sing the song of redeeming love, I would ask, can ye feel so now?"

Sometimes I’m jealous of the people we call “converts.”  They have a different perspective on the gospel. Sometimes I think they are more grateful for the blessing it is in their lives. Or maybe they’re just grateful in a different way. They can tell you when, where, and how they decided to become a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. They know the day-to-night difference that is life without versus life with the gospel. And you can feel the pure, innocent love they have for this treasure they’ve found in the truth. I, on the other hand, have been a member of the Church all my life, as I was born to parents who were sealed in the temple. I recognize how blessed I am to have had the Church be such a huge part of my life always. Even though I am a life-long member, I don’t discredit the idea that everyone who fully comes unto Christ will experience their own conversion. I’d like to talk a little about mine. I don’t recall ever having one of those “aha!” moments where I had an experience or felt a feeling and knew just like that, that the Church was true. Instead there were times along the way where I became more sure and confident in my testimony of the gospel and conversion to its truth.

It wasn’t easy being the only Mormon in my grade, or even in my school for that matter. But it was a great blessing as I grew and matured in the Gospel. I think had I been born or raised in a place like Utah where I would have felt more comfortable and a little less peculiar, my testimony wouldn’t be as strong or refined as it is. I wouldn’t have experienced the same conversion to the Gospel that I did. As it was, I couldn’t stay on the fence long. I had to quickly decide whether or not I knew the Church to be true. I gained a testimony at an early age and couldn’t go back on what I knew was right, no matter how alone or different I felt.

One of these conversion moments happened for me when I was 14. My friend Morgan had been spending a lot of time with my family and had come on some of our vacations. She started to show some interest in the Church and accepted my invitation to come to Girls’ Camp with me. I remember one night in particular when we were sitting on my bed in our cabin. It was the last night of camp and all the other girls in our group had gone to play games by the campfire, but we had stayed behind. Morgan asked me to tell her about Joseph Smith so I got out my scriptures and we read the Joseph Smith story together. I remember how impressed she was by the faith and strength of a boy who had been just our age at the time. She told me that the things she’d been learning and feeling during that one week at Girls’ Camp had seemed more right to her than all the things she’d ever learned at her own church. A few days later after my week of spiritual highs had ended I found a note Morgan left me.  In it she said that she knew Heavenly Father sent my family and me to her. She could feel His love for her when she was with us and she knew what she had learned at camp was true. She thanked me for my friendship and for opening up to her about what I believed. That experience brought me closer to my Savior, increased my love for the gospel, and strengthened my testimony of Joseph Smith and his key role in restoring the true Church to the Earth.

Quoting Elder Hallstrom again, “This is a magnificent Church. Its organization, effectiveness, and sheer goodness are respected by all who sincerely seek to understand it. The Church has programs for children, youth, men, and women. It has beautiful meetinghouses that number more than 18,000. Majestic temples – now totaling 136 – dot the earth, with another 30 under construction or announced.  A full-time missionary force of over 56,000 comprised of the young and less so, are serving in 150 countries. The Church’s worldwide humanitarian work is a marvelous display of the generosity of our members. Our welfare system cares for our members and promotes self-reliance in a manner unduplicated anywhere. In this Church we have selfless lay leaders and a community of Saints who are willing to serve one another in a remarkable way. There is nothing like this Church in all the world."

With Mitt Romney as the Republican Presidential nominee, David Archuleta on a mission, and several LDS athletes who just finished competing in the Olympics, we are in the spotlight now more than ever. When people hear I’m Mormon, they typically have a pre-conceived notion in their head about what that means. They’ve either been taught something about Mormons as part of what they’ve learned at their own church, or they’ve known a Mormon themselves. Typically after the initial “Oh, you’re Mormon?” there’s a series of questions like, “How many wives does your dad have?” or “Are you allowed to dance?” Then there’s the “Oh you’re the people who keep more food in your basement than in your actual kitchen.” or my personal favorite and one I’ve never really understood, “You’re not supposed to wear the color blue, are you?” The people who think they know most about me as a Mormon are those who proudly claim their atheism. I had another one of those “conversion moments” with a proud atheist named Daniel last fall.

I had met him last August in Salt Lake City and we went on one date. The topic of my religion came up almost immediately after finding out that I go to school at BYU-Idaho. It didn’t take long to gather that we were on completely different wavelengths when it came to religion and God. Any conversation remotely related to the two ended in an argument or hurt feelings. Fast forward a few months to November and my friend Juelaine and I were driving from Rexburg to Las Vegas for our mutual friend’s wedding. We picked Daniel up in Salt Lake on the way. Now looking back, I honestly have no idea what I was thinking bringing Daniel to Vegas for an entire weekend. I could barely stand being around this egotistical, strong minded, free thinker who I had literally nothing in common with. For the most part our weekend was okay. We kept talks light hearted and basic. And then began our five hour drive from Vegas to Salt Lake.

I’m not sure why, nor do I remember what we were talking about before this, but during a moment of comfortable silence I turned to him and asked, “So, um, what do you think will happen to you when you die?” and it triggered a three hour conversation about the purpose of life, what happens to us after death, eternal families, faith, prayer, and agency. We took turns going back and forth about our beliefs, feelings, and doctrine. We cleared up confusion he had and I think even opened his eyes and made him rethink some things he had before been so sure about. Not once did I feel like things were getting heated or argumentative. Juelaine jumped in when she could tell I needed help and we were quoting scriptures and prophets that we didn’t even know we knew or remembered. The spirit was so strong. That conversation was unlike any other I’d ever had, not just with Daniel, but with anyone, about the gospel. This time I was on the verge of tears, not because my feelings were hurt, but because I could feel the Holy Ghost there with us. Talking with Daniel and Juelaine made me realize just how grateful I am for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. It reminded me how big a part of my life it actually is and made me appreciate how incredibly blessed I am to know the things I do. It gave me a renewed desire to be better; to daily immerse myself in the scriptures, to fall on my knees in prayer, and to constantly be seeking for moments and opportunities to share what I know, whether through conversation, or simply by example. That one experience is the reason I gave going on a mission serious thought. I believe I became more converted to the gospel that day.

Elder Hallstrom says, “Some have come to think of activity in the Church as the ultimate goal. Therein lies a danger. It is possible to be active in the Church and less active in the gospel. Activity in the Church is a highly desirable goal; however, it is insufficient. Activity in the church is an outward indication of our spiritual desire. If we attend our meetings, hold and fulfill Church responsibilities, and serve others, it is publicly observed. By contrast, the things of the gospel are usually less visible and more difficult to measure, but they are of greater eternal importance. For example, how much faith do we really have? How repentant are we? How meaningful are the ordinances in our lives? How focused are we on our covenants? We need the gospel and the Church.”

The whole purpose of the Church is to assist us in living the gospel. It’s hard not to wonder how a once fully active member of the Church can slip into inactivity and stop coming completely. Elder Hallstrom suggests that it may be because “they were not sufficiently converted to the gospel – the things of eternity.” He then outlines three fundamental ways to have the gospel be our foundation.

The first is deepen our understanding of Deity. “A sustained knowledge of and love for the three members of the Godhead are indispensable. Mindfully pray to the Father, in the name of the Son, and seek direction from the Holy Ghost. Couple prayer with constant study and humble pondering to continually build unshakable faith in Jesus Christ.” We can’t know God and follow His plan for us if we don’t understand His role as our Master, as well as our Friend.

Next is focus on the ordinances and covenants. “We need to establish the discipline to live faithful to our covenants and fully using the weekly gift of the sacrament. Many of us are not being regularly changed by its cleansing power because of our lack of reverence for this holy ordinance.”

Lastly, unite the gospel with the Church. ”As we concentrate on the gospel, the Church will become more, not less, of a blessing in our lives. As we come to each meeting prepared to ‘seek learning, even by study and also by faith,’ the Holy Spirit will be our teacher. If we come to be entertained, we often will be disappointed.”

In the last few weeks I’ve learned that it’s going to take courage to leave the world behind. When I first received my mission call the only thing I felt was pure joy and excitement. I knew my call came straight from Heavenly Father, through His servant President Monson. I was eager to learn everything I could about Spain. As someone who has always struggled to get up in the mornings, I became especially excited when I learned that I would wake up and go to bed an hour later than the missionaries in the rest of the world due to the highly celebrated Spanish tradition of “siesta.” Shopping for mission clothes was fun, renewing my passport and applying for a visa was stressful and all this waiting and working I’ve been doing for the last six months has been tiring. Now, though I’m still so incredibly excited, I'm starting to get nervous. Parts of me feel inadequate and incapable. I’m anxious about the MTC and getting my first companion. I'm scared that I won't do, or be, or say the right things. I’m overwhelmed. But despite all that, I know now more than I ever have that serving a mission is exactly what I want and need to be doing at this time in my life. I know I’ve made the right decision, that the Lord’s on my side, and that I’ll have the Holy Ghost there with me the whole time, especially through the challenging moments. The anxiety seems to slip away when I put what I’m doing into an eternal perspective, and I feel calm.

I’d like to close with a quote called "The Fellowship of the Unashamed" by Dr. Bob Moorehead. "I am a part of the fellowship of the unashamed. The dye has been cast. I have stepped over the line. The decision has been made. I am a disciple of Jesus Christ. I won’t look back, let up, slow down, or be still. My past is redeemed, my present makes sense, and my future is secure. I’m finished and done with low living, small planning, smooth knees, colorless dreams, tamed visions, worldly talking, cheap giving, and dwarfed goals. I no longer need pre-eminence, positions, promotions, plaudits, or popularity. I don’t have to be right, first, recognized, praised, regarded, or rewarded. I now live by faith, lean on His presence, walk with patience, live by prayer, and labor with power. My face is set, my gait is fast, my goal is heaven. My road is narrow, my way is rough, my companions are few, by my Guide is reliable, my mission is clear. I cannot be bought, compromised, detoured, lured away, turned back, deluded, or delayed. I will not flinch in the face of sacrifice, hesitate in the presence of the adversary, negotiate at the table of the enemy, ponder at the pool of popularity, or meander in the maze of mediocrity. I won’t give up, shut up, or let up until I have stayed up, stored up, prayed up, paid up, and spoken up for the cause of Christ. I am a disciple of Jesus Christ. I must go until he comes, give until I drop, preach until all know, and work until he stops me. And when he returns for His own, he will have no problem recognizing me. My banner will be clear. I am part of the fellowship of the unashamed."

I want everyone, especially my family, to know that I know that this church is true. I've known it all my life and I can't wait to share that truth with the people of Madrid. In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

a missionary for a day

last week, two girls who looked about my age walked into my work to get some ice cream. i immediately recognized them as sister missionaries because they were both wearing nametags. not only were they sister missionaries, but they were spanish speaking sister missionaries. how lucky was i! i think heavenly father must have sent them right to me. as i was scooping their ice cream, i asked them how long they each had been out and then proceeded to tell them that i myself was planning on serving a mission and that i'll be headed to the mtc in september! they both seemed so excited for me and invited me to teach with them sometime. of course i accepted, and we set a date. that date was today.

this morning i got dressed in an outfit that i had bought specifically for my mission, and headed out to meet hermana okey and hermana guerra. on the way to the apartment of the family they were teaching, i said a prayer that i would feel the spirit and receive an affirmation that serving a mission was the right choice for me. i prayed that i would understand the lesson being taught (as it was going to be in spanish) and that if called upon to bear testimony, i would be able to communicate effectively.

we knocked on the family's door and nobody answered, so we left a note and decided to try a different apartment. giovanni answered his door and had time for a lesson so we sat down outside to teach him! the lesson was mostly about prayer and how important it is in having a relationship with Heavenly Father. we also talked about prophets and how they speak for God. giovanni wasn't saying a whole lot, which made it hard to tell if he was learning anything or feeling the spirit. hermana guerra asked giovanni who God was to him and he responded that he didn't really know. she turned to me and asked me to describe who God is to me and i answered. the words just flowed right out! i explained to giovanni that God was my father, that He loved me so much and He wanted me to be happy. i explained that i speak to God daily through prayer and that i know God hears me when i do. we talked more about how having a relationship with God. hermana guerra asked giovanni if he felt like he had a relationship with Him and he shook his head no. she asked if he wanted a relationship with God and he shook his head no again. that made me so sad. she then said, "out of curiosity, how come you don't want to have a relationship with your Heavenly Father?" from what i understood of what he said, he explained that he knows a lot of people who say they're close to God and they follow Him, yet they do bad things and say bad words. hermana okey told him she completely understood. she reminded him that nobody's perfect, including us, and that sometimes we slip up. but Heavenly Father still wants to hear from us. the discussion ended by teaching giovanni how to pray and encouraging him to pray to his Heavenly Father. then hermana okey asked me to offer a prayer before we left. i hadn't prayed in spanish in so long, so i was a little rusty, but it was okay.

the hour and a half i spent with hermana okey and hermana guerra was so good for me. i got the affirmation of my decision that i needed and i got so much more excited for my mission than i already was. and the best part is i get to teach with them again on tuesday!

i love this church so much. 

i love missionaries so much.

i love the spanish language so much.

and in just 85 days, i'll be in the mtc.

neat.