It's been a rough week. Well, just a rough couple of days I guess. This week has pretty much been all about Oscar. After our miracle with him last week things have just seemed to get better. Wednesday we had an intense lesson with him. We planned our lesson in the morning and felt prepared to invite him to be baptized the following weekend. The lesson went super well. We talked about faith to work miracles and faith to be healed and repentance and then when we got to baptism I asked him to be baptized on the 20th of this month. He laughed. Haha I think just because he was surprised or nervous or who knows why. But he said he didn't think he would be ready. Also because he wanted his friend to be there to support him and she wouldn't be back in town until August 2nd. So then I pushed it back and said, ''Okay then, the 3rd!'' He agreed to the 3rd. Then we talked about the Holy Ghost and how one of His most important roles is to comfort us. Knowing that Oscar likes the tranquility and peace he feels at church, I figured the idea of having that with him always would be important to him. And it was. By the end of the lesson he said, ''What day did you want me to be baptized?'' I said the 20th. He said, ''Alright, the 20th it is.'' The Spirit was strong and we all knew he would be ready for that day. And even better, he was so excited. He felt good about the decision he made and he was ready to do whatever necessary, to be prepared for that day. It was a miracle.
On Friday we taught him the word of wisdom. We knew we were going to need another miracle because even though Oscar wanted to quit smoking on his own, we knew it'd be hard and that he'd need a lot of support. We knew that the hardest for him to quit would be cigarrettes, so we agreed to give up something ourselves; I would stop cracking my knuckles and Hermana Stepp would stop apologizing every 5 seconds. Haha it sounded good to him, and he committed to living the word of wisdom. Another miracle.
Saturday we called President Jackson to be sure Oscar would be able to get baptized because he has a complicated personal situation. It's really difficult. So we asked President if there was any way he could be baptized Saturday and he said only under very specific circumstances. We needed some divine intervention, so we fasted Saturday and Sunday to be able to know what to tell Oscar and that some how, some way, he could still be baptized the 20th. Church was awesome. The classes and talks were perfect for him - even the hymns seemed to be handpicked. After sacrament meeting Oscar went up to Marcos (the secretary and one of his friends at church) and asked him if he would baptize him. Marcos was super honored and of course said yes. They hugged and it was really really sweet.
Last night we had the make-it-or-break-it-lesson. I was super nervous all day. When we broke the news to him that he couldn't be baptized on Saturday, he didn't take it very well. At all. He said we'd embarrassed him and tricked him and he didn't think what he was doing was wrong. He said if he couldn't get baptized Saturday, he would never get baptized. I started to get really emotional in the lesson and it was hard to stay in there with him. I've put so much time and energy into this man and I love him so much. I know he knows this church is true and he's changed a ton in the last couple months because of it, so it's hard for me to see him give up. I want him to be happy and to receive all the blessings of the gospel, and even though that's not possible right this second, it doesn't mean it's not worth waiting for. I expressed to him my desire for him to stick to what he knows is true and to continue coming to church and meeting with us because we are willing to do all we can to help him get things in order.
I don't understand what happened. Especially because I prayed and fasted more intensly than I ever have in my life that things would turn out well and that he would be accepting and understanding. And in the end, we've lost him. It was such a hard night and I was really upset. But I've tried to remind myself that if it had been the Lord's will, things would have turned out differently. I guess it's not Oscar's time right now and I'm having a hard time accepting that and not blaming myself. He was my miracle this transfer and he was scheduled to get baptized Saturday, but now he won't even answer our phonecalls.
It's been super hard, but I know God loves him and hasn't forgotten about him. And neither will I.
I love you!